on finding pieces of myself that i recognize, even here...

today my calf muscles are screaming and my hips are tight. the arches of my feet are stiff; the only relief is rolling them over a tennis ball to massage them gently. but i feel wonderful.

yesterday i went to taipei with a scribbled out address for "Wu-Yi Dance School" and had no idea what i would find--if anything! it was apparently so close to Taipei Main Station that a cab driver refused to drive me there. so i asked at the information desk, where a girl spoke some English, and she pointed down the street, instructing me to turn left in the alley after the 7-11. i found the 7 (never a problem here) and wandered down the alley. i didn't see anything that looked like a dance school... the buildings looked as though they were built 80 years ago, as shacks, and they hadn't updated themselves to match the bustling, international, modern city around them. the streets are lined with Starbuck's, California Fitness, and United Colors of Benetton, but the alleys...

there were a few ancient-looking indonesian restaurants, with a few ancient-looking people sitting inside fanning themselves. a boy on a bicycle. the smell of burned meat and washed laundry hanging out to dry in the sun. a happily straying dog. but a dance studio? i walked back toward the street and found a man sitting at an information desk of some sort. i showed him the address, and he got up and walked me right to the door of the studio (it WAS in the alley... but how would i ever have known?)

i walked up the stairs to the third floor, and heard music from a hip-hop class and stomping feet. a small reception area was set up and i signed up for the 5 o'clock Intermediate Ballet. this in itself was terrifying to me, as i haven't taken regular ballet classes for--a few years? on top of that, i was afraid i'd be the, well, white elephant in the room, for lack of a better word. a broad-shouldered blonde surrounded by delicate, dark-haired ballerinas. i KNOW i'm not that big, but the people here have the tiniest little bones that sometimes i feel enormous! and i'm becoming quite self-conscious--feeling people's eyes, hearing them whisper, seeing them point and sometimes take pictures... it's developing into a slight paranoia! anyway... i was nervous.

but as soon as the hip-hoppers finished their class and came streaming out of the studio in a steam of funky, sweaty ripped tee-shirts and loud mandarin slang (or so i assume), and the ballet students tiptoed in, i knew i was home. i found a place at the barre, by the window, so i could see the street outside and feel the energy of the city. the students were all adults--some my age, some a little younger, and a few much older. the teacher introduced himself to me and asked where i was from, and did i understand mandarin? no, i replied, but i understand french. he looked at me, slightly confused, and i assured him that i'd be okay.

it felt so good to dance. i'm rusty, yes, but the instinct is there. the songs were the same songs i've been listening to in ballet classes for 20 years. it was beautiful to have found something so familiar in a place so foreign. something that is a big part of my life and my past in a place where i often feel so lost that i can forget who i am.

i left feeling weightless yet grounded, floating but affirmed.

on top of that, later that night, i met a woman who owns a yoga studio in my neighborhood, who is willing to rent me her studio so that i can teach a yoga class in English for the other teachers, who've all been begging me.

AND i got two letters in the MAIL, one from my grandmother and one from my sister.

a day of blessings...